Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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