I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
