Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to calm my uterus...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
