1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
Randomize
