we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
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GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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