no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
