So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize