I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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