Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
