once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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