How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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