Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i now understand why vodka
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
