doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
