During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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