BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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