The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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