your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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