I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
