Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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