Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
