i think i have two assholes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
