that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
