All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
