So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
