whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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