From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
