I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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