i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Boobs are out for the taking
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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