i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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