just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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