Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
