I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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