I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
