i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
