The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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