went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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