I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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