I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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