Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
