She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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