I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
