Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
