You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can't put those talents on a resume
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
