It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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