had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
