Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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