Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
