We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My room smells like vodka and shame
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
