i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i believe in u and ur pee
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
