Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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