if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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