You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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