Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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