Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
