you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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