It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
