its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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