i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
